June 20, 2009

Ain't No Fountain of Slime Youth!

Nickelodeon Slime has been linked to eventual death, experts say, in a report which also listed Teddy Ruxpins, cassingles, and Jr. High School as other definite links to human beings' eventual demise. The report states that 100% of people slimed on popular Nickelodeon shows such as Double Dare, You Can't Do That on Television, Finders Keepers, and Family Double Dare will eventually lose their ability to continue living and will have to relocate their body to either a grave, an urn, or a rocking chair in a spooky attic with a window facing the street. At least one man, a Mr. Hubert T Higgins of Cattleprod Lane, was disappointed to learn that the slime did not grant everlasting life.

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