June 22, 2009

How About It, Science?

Hey Science, how about a strip of land 2 miles wide and 12,000 miles long that is suspended up 20,000 feet above the earth's surface, which moves with the placement of the sun, allowing all of the areas of the strip to always experience the same time of day? People could purchase pieces of land dependent on what their favorite part of the day is and build pools in the middle, where the sun is always up-top center, or large wooden porches towards either end, where the sun is always either rising or setting. There would be defensive missile pods for the times when the strip moves over hostile nations down on boring old earth, and there would be constant streams of transport to bring food and other goods back and forth between the strip (where vegetables could flourish in areas where science knows best) and boring olde earth down below. Elimination would be easy: dump it in the ocean! Fresh water would be easy too: control the weather! Make a part of the strip always rainy so people from boring old Seattle could be happy and play their grunge music and provide the rest of us with fresh water! As for me, I'll be living somewhere between 4pm and 5pm, but I'll have houses at Sunset and Noon as well, for when I want to go swimming (noon), or kick back with a romantic glass of Don Chemile's Romantic Wine (sunset). Also, as the inventor of this strip, I will have girlfriends in every part of the day, from dawn to dusk, and i will sleep in their beds and couches. Get to it, Science.

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