April 10, 2009

The Beatles: So Long and Thanks for All the Money!

The Beatles, England's popular reggae band from the 1960's, first revealed their plans to break up April 10th, 1970, when Paul McCartney made a public announcement to the world that they would no longer be making the music together that they had been making for such a long time, music that had caused so many girls to faint, and so many cover bands to receive drink tickets good for beer or well drinks but not too many, as an over abundance of alcohol would cause them to act irrationally and possibly if not probably ruin the entire show, those talentless wangs.

The break up was met with a lot of sad eating of depressing pot brownies, where the entire nation observed 15 minutes of respectful high (and some, less disposed to the regular digestion of marijuana, observed a day and a half of respectful high). Jesus Christ returned from his lair to announce that he was finally #1 again. John Lennon married a skinny Japanese woman and a million older brothers reached a level of maturity where they could finally admit that the Beatles made some damn good songs, even if they were a bunch of wankers.

I know it's impossible, Beatles, but please get back together.

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