My cat, Steve Gutenberg, turns 2 today! What exciting news this is for the Valley Village neighborhood I live in. Why, everybody came out to attend! Sarah Silverman (the character from her show) as well as her gay neighbors, baked him a cat food cake that caused Steve Gutenberg to purr for a good 5 minutes (Sarah Silverman told me later, in secret, that she baked the cake, but they agreed to take equal share because they let her take part in a cake they cooked for a neighborhood dog a few months ago).
Some neighborhood cats tried to crash the party, but Steve Gutenberg sent them away with a powerful hiss that was reminiscent of Steve Gutenberg the actor on the set of Cocoon, who famously didn't get along with walrus mustached co-worker Wilford Brimley and his gang, The Lawn Bowlers. "Later," my cat told them. "Come back later and I'll share some leftovers with you. But for now, Alley Cats, let me share this party with Valley Village's finest. No offense."
The party ended a little earlier than planned, Steve Gutenberg the cat went a little bit overboard with the catnip and started dancing like Snoopy with a lampshade on his head. At first some people thought it was cute, the way cats with cones on their heads are universally adorable, but after a few minutes when it became apparent that the cat Gute was just not in any state of mind, the people left with polite smiles on their faces and scandalous stories brewing in their brains.
You're a fine cat, Steve G! Stay who you are!