May 22, 2009

I'm A Mazed

Happy Birthday Pac-Man! May 22 1980 Namco gave birth to a little yellow man with an insatiable appetite for lost souls. Pakkuman is a video game about life in the 80’s, the plot is that you are a hungry mouth, running through a mall doing lines of coke, and snacking on pretzels and fruit (presumably bought from an Orange Julius). The whole time Johnny Law AKA ghosts, are chasing you, trying to make you go to rehab. At four corners of the mall there is a power pellet which is filled with PCP, and when you consume it, the whole power paradigm shifts and you can go after the men in blue, (whose mouths at this point have for some reason fashioned themselves after Charlie Brown's shirt, and Charlie is another name for cocaine. Coincidence? I think not.) and consume them whole, except for their indigestible eyes, which roll their way back to this dunk tank in the center of the screen which grows a new body for them. In between levels, there are cut scenes where Pakku chases and is chased by these ghost police characters which for some reason are in the shape of Bart Simpson's upside down head. He also meets Ms. Pac Man and has a baby, making this the most sexually explicit, and factually accurate game of its time.

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