May 28, 2009

Total Eclipse of the Heart


Some people look to John and Yoko for their peaceful solutions, others to more radical ideas like Tiananmen Square, but those who know the best way to stop a war, solar power.
In 585 B.C. man had gods aplenty, The Battle of Halys was your typical fight. A group of dudes (the Medes) hire a group of dudes to hunt them up some food, hunter dudes don’t find food, leader dude(Cyaxares) insults the hunters with something like “Hey, hunter guys, you didn’t hunt well, so I’m gonna call you Mr. no hunter guys.”, hunters kill leader dudes son and feeds him to his people, double-double animal style, which is a perfectly fair reaction. The hunters then run away to a nearby country, with original dudes in hot pursuit. The hunters run to a land where the people think the hunter dudes are totally boss, so they decide to go to war instead of handing them over. The battle begins to rage when suddenly the sky goes out. Everyone on the battlefield thinks this is totally wizard, and feeling like all this people eating and ass kickery has angered the gods, they pack it in. The fighting ends, virgins are offered, sunglasses are removed and everyone goes to the country to eat a lot of peaches. This is where the phrase "Life's a peach" came from.

This form of peacemaking has been attempted many times since, to varying degrees of success. Mr. burns once blotted out the sun in a very successful manner. An army once had a plan to sneak into an enemy camp and set all their clocks ahead to 2pm, then began bashing pots and pans yelling “wake up, the sun has been unplugged!” but since neither clocks nor electricity had been invented they were simply caught and hanged for saying such confusing words. One time a man in a wild-west shootout held his thumb up to the sun and proclaimed “There’s nobody home!” at which point he was shot in the back.

As the cat said when asked how his owner stops him from destroying the furniture, “eclipse me”.

3 comments:

  1. AnonymousMay 28, 2009

    so apparently you found the best picture on the internet and linked it to "totally boss"

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  2. It is also good to see someone found some use for my Art. I am the creator of the Wild West but that one you have is the old one and was reworked. The newer version can be found here. http://s253.photobucket.com/albums/hh47/Lakotafeather/
    I believe there is a direct link for it there too. That was the true wild west. Smiles to you

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